Large Collection of Bad Date Night Stories - Dating Disasters

Dating Disaster Stories: The Play Date

funny dating disaster stories

The guy had invited me over for a pyramid scheme. I checked his profile and he seemed cool, so I added him. April 29, at 4: And it was right after the first night we spent together. It is a funny one though! Confused by this, I just sent back a question mark, and he then said, "Send more. Boy, do I have a story for YOU.

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Like I said, he was a nice guy, but this was really not a good first date. Abandoned me at Barnes and Noble. Janel from NellieBellie says: I looked at him quizzically, and he said, "You need to change your pad before you go to bed — you could get TSS [toxic shock syndrome]. November 23, at 3: First Date Turns Violent I went on a date a few nights ago with a man who posted a picture of him looking like a fashion model. November 23, at 2:

He ordered drinks and appetizers etc. I don't drink, at all. At the end of dinner he said we'll split the check down the middle. Then he asked me if 'Autumn wanted to go back to Eric's place now' to which I replied, 'I'll have to ask her and get back to you.

The drinks came and one of them spilled on the table, he stopped the waitress from wiping it up and proceeded to slurp it off of the table and said 'these drinks ain't cheap' as though he was paying. Then he spent the rest of the night on his phone. He told me to come to his house for a 'big surprise' I get over there and there's about 50 people I've never seen before on his lawn. One guy was standing in the middle giving a casual presentation It was a pyramid scheme.

The guy had invited me over for a pyramid scheme. Finally I asked what he was looking at. He said, confidently I might add, 'look at the tits on that one! Suffice it to say, I left pretty quickly after that. He went on to say he liked to wear them. I came down with a headache real quick and left my coffee sitting I can't do this. So I ended up spending the entire time at the bar keeping her out of trouble and mostly spending time with her in the bathroom.

I spent no time at all with my date and barely talked to him at all. So when they dropped us off I figured that was it for both couples. But no word at all from my date. I kinda felt like I had sacrificed my date and she came out smelling like a rose.

I was a bit bummed. But a few days later she said that she had heard thru her guy that mine was going to try the date thing one more time, without them along.

Needless to say, both couples got married. We still are after 35 years. They would be but Mr. But it just goes to say, that a horrible first date can work out if you are willing to give it just one more try. Yeah,,I was on a date once..

No doubt about it.. Ok, Here is the first date nightmare of mine. We were on our way to a drive in movie it was Jaws. So, to move it along we went in to the snack bar. I love chocolate and thought I would get junior mints. Plus it helped with breath. It was getting dark so we made it back to the car and watched smooched and snacked through the movie. So its intermission time coming up we hurried off to go potty and get more popcorn before the crowd comes in.

This rest room had many pottys and a whole wall of sinks with mirrors. I finish with the potty and am washing my hands when the huge crowd comes in and are looking at me and kinds making faces. I gave myself a final look in the mirror and that was one of those OMG what is this. The butt of my light green slacks were covered in smashed black and white junior mints.

Once melted it looked like I pooped and maybe something sexual was with it. The bottom of the box was open and it was all over my ass. Now what the hell do I do. I waited as long as I could and walked by a wall out the door. Thank god my date was already back in the car. Out side it was really dark so it was ok there. I managed to get through the date and he never saw my butt. I jumped out of the car and backed my way into my house. Thank God that was over.

Next morning a call came through from his mother saying she was coving over to see me. WTF I am thinking. She comes over gets out of the car with her sons pants. They were covered in the same crap mine were. I saw the seat and it was smeared on fabric all over the seat. She wanted to know what the hell I did to her car and son. I started to laugh so hard that she got in her car and took off.

I never saw either one again. I never found out if it came out of her car. I threw my pants out it would no come out. I was setting up a hotmail address and accidentally clicked on the link to Lavalife. I waited one very long week before he got back to me. We e-mailed back and forth for another week before we arranged to meet. We decided on the Keg — which was below the building I used to work in. I told Craig that I would save a table if I got there before him.

When I arrived, I told the hostess that I was meeting someone by the name of Craig. Five minutes later the waitress showed up with an overweight, older, balding man — the complete opposite of what I was expecting!!!! Even though he was a nice enough guy, I felt really duped. I was so relieved when he went off to find his blind date and Craig arrived 5 minutes later. I knew from the minute we met that Craig was going to be a keeper.

We were engaged exactly one year to-the-day later. I was so drunk. He took me home to my place because he was homeless. Turned out he was rich. He replaced all my shit with nice shit. Five years later we are still together. But such a happy ending! Once many years ago, I was dating very nice guy who happened to live in a very small apt.

Like our gassy heroine, I was trying to eat well, which, on that day happened to be a nice big bag of dried apricots while we were out running errands fruit? No happy ending for us, but it did give us a good laugh the entire rest of the time we dated.

I invited him over for brunch and a picnic to the nearby national seashore. I made my special quiche with southwest influence including cilantro. Stopped at the local bakery for their killer cinnamon raisin bread.

Prepared smoothies with bananas and apricot nectar. Served this delightful brunch and he started eating. A bare sip of the smoothie. Lot of coffee, and I noticed a pile of raisins on the side of the plate. I grew up in a fart-infested home, with a Dad who could fart God Save the Queen while running up the stairs…. We decided that day to meet in the city center and just walk around.

This was after school and I had been in a bit of a hurry. It was in fashion to wear a sweater over your shoulders and I had it this day and felt I was looking nice.

Aah, the embarrassment… I reached in panic the first item I and rushed for the fitting room. I went out and said I was going to buy whatever I had taken with me, pretending the other thing never happened….

Did he call, yes. We dated for a good 10 years after it… But then I wore my nickers on my head instead of a hat and that was too much… or not. I had to reply to you Tiinity! Dan, name kept the same to protect his future dates, was a psychologist. He seemed a little obnoxious but after some cajoling from an optimistic friend, I agreed to go out with him. At this point, the tables next to us were shooting me looks of pity. He was not the quiet sort.

He then produced the email she sent back to him. Shockingly, her answer was no. We started sharing the normal battle stories of bad dates in my mind thinking that this was the worst.

He told me he had a couple dates with a girl who had a colostomy bag. Now, I am an understanding sort and it is unfortunate. Yes, the bags are gross. It would take one hell of a man to deal with one. Dan was not that man. After the urge to punch him in his smirking face subsided, I excused myself, ran to the bathroom and called the optimistic friend who put me up to this.

After shrieking at her, she in between uproarious laughter told me that I needed to excuse myself from the date. I went back to the table, told him I needed to go and we left. On the walk home, I called back the optimistic friend who was still laughing as was her now husband and told her that under no circumstances was she to convince me to go out with anyone I had doubts about ever again.

The twist to the story? At least she made it up to me. I am going to choose to not believe that date story. Was waaay shorter than me. Informed me how he was going to be the one to dress his future wife. Abandoned me at Barnes and Noble. Took me to dinner with his entire. Credit card got denied at dinner. Abandoned me at an arcade. When he met my roommates, he promptly kicked one off her own computer and proceeded to play a game for an hour without talking to anyone. Was shocked when I turned him down for a second date.

I later found out he was Well, I now know that you cannot actually die of laughter, but I came really, super close. Went to a movie. Not only are you jumping around on a trampoline trying not to knock a kid over, but you get really sweaty. It was like a second workout for me that day. The poor guy was sweating through his shirt. My hair was wet and my makeup started to melt off.

By the end of it, neither one of us looked that great. It was also hard to get to know each while jumping around. We both kept looking at our watches for the hour to be over because the novelty of this place wore off after five minutes.

After our hour was up, he drove me back to my car and we parted ways never to speak again. Like I said, he was a nice guy, but this was really not a good first date.

Have you ever been out with a nice guy but the setting was not so nice?

Bilder: funny dating disaster stories

funny dating disaster stories

In the cool night air, with only my date's car shielding me from the freeway, I had to relieve myself to end my gastrointestinal torture. G20 on Twitter My Tweets.

funny dating disaster stories

On one phone call she started to describe the new family puppy. Only people who take it up the ass get colon cancer. A boy and girl were driving home from a cabin out in the middle of no where and it was the middle of winter.

funny dating disaster stories

Not only did my date handle the entire situation with compassion although he still calls me Freewayhe took me back to the restaurant and raised a little hell about the incident their food had just created. November 23, at 9: Not only are you jumping around funny dating disaster stories a trampoline trying not to knock a kid over, but you get really sweaty. November 23, at 2: Except that creepy psych guy — the number of poor women he must have terrorized. The date lasted one hour.